Need sex. Gaining weight.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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