Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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