I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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