Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
