just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
