How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
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