ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
