Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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