I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
