Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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