Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
