Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Randomize
