Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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