okay pat passed out under dana's car
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
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