I murdered the dance floor call the cops
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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