I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
