bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
