Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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