I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
