barbara walters just said penis...
you didnt know i had herpes?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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