Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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