OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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