You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Randomize
