I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
well I can't set my house on fire every night
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
