just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Randomize
