Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
