i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
