The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize