I wanna bring you to show and tell
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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