Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
