I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
be right there i have to get my cape
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
