its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
