am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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