my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
