Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
