as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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