Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i think my tv is drunk
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
