We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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