If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
