Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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