You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
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