Kiss
Puke
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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