VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
