I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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