My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
