did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize
