Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
