WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
