i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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