Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
