she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
