Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
