what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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