You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Randomize