My pussy is not your playground.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
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