He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
