Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize