i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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