She announced her abortion via fbk
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
