BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
