I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize