Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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