idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You pole danced in your parka.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
