i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
