Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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