she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
