Have you finally orgasmed yet?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
He's on the porch naked. Help.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
