He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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